Definition of celebrity – a nobody wearing expensive clothes and looking for any sort of exposure.
“I’m a dinosaur” – said Michael Douglas. – Does it mean there’s a chance we can see you in new Jurassic Park movie?
Nothings lasts forever. Even Kim Kardashian’s ass will sag one day.
“Hollywood star Sharon Stone has launched a surprise side-career as a songwriter at the age of 59”. She surely can’t do Basic Instinct 3 (even 2 she looked so granny), so good luck!
“Professor Green has taken his relationship with model Fae Williams to the next level by moving her into his South London house… They’ve already bought new furniture together and she loves his dogs Arthur and Ethel”. She won’t marry them though, as they are not famous.
“Nigel Farage: Soft Brexit is code for staying in the European Union apart from name”. Sofa Brexit is code for staying home sitting on the sofa doing nothing apart from cursing Brexit.
“Joe Wicks: You may not have cooked duck before but give it a go. It’s easy”. It wasn’t easy for the duck…
David Beckham desperately wants to be awarded and OBE for his contributions to football, or maybe underwear adverts. Paul Gascoigne’s reckless fight with the drinking addiction calls for some kind of recognition. I wonder sometimes though, who’s gonna quit what first: Rooney playing for England, or Gazza drinking. Victoria Beckham for her services to anorexia, Kim Kardashian for making Botox the worldwide phenomenon, Coleen Nolan for winning Big Brother doing in the house less that she does on Loose Women. I’d MBE Mariah Carey for amazing New Year’s Eve mime fail performance, Josie Gibson, whoever she is, for saying: “I’ve had my boobs and my stomach done so there’s nothing else, is there?”. I wouldn’t knight myself though, I would feel bad in such a company.