In Europe lawyers have prostitutes, in America prostitutes have lawyers.



“Hollywood star Sharon Stone has launched a surprise side-career as a songwriter at the age of 59”. She surely can’t do Basic Instinct 3 (even 2 she looked so granny), so good luck!

“Professor Green has taken his relationship with model Fae Williams to the next level by moving her into his South London house… They’ve already bought new furniture together and she loves his dogs Arthur and Ethel”. She won’t marry them though, as they are not famous.

“Nigel Farage: Soft Brexit is code for staying in the European Union apart from name”. Sofa Brexit is code for staying home sitting on the sofa doing nothing apart from cursing Brexit.

“Joe Wicks: You may not have cooked duck before but give it a go. It’s easy”. It wasn’t easy for the duck…