Summer in London is gone. Well, it never came.
Noodles aren’t from China. They are from Taiwan, like everything else.
I bet the Notting Hill Carnival goers are having a cracking time, and I hope the police doesn’t have to go deep in the weeds.
I think there’s something wrong with me… I didn’t have a wank for the last three days.
Homeless start to bother customers and beg for money inside take away shops, they have no shame. I’m worried soon I will have to eat my burgers locked up in the toilet.
A young guy asked me today in the street do I smoke weed. I thought to myself: Do I look that bad?
When I hear about “cliff-edged Brexit” I see Theresa May standing on the edge of a cliff, crying…