David Beckham desperately wants to be awarded and OBE for his contributions to football, or maybe underwear adverts. Paul Gascoigne’s reckless fight with the drinking addiction calls for some kind of recognition. I wonder sometimes though, who’s gonna quit what first: Rooney playing for England, or Gazza drinking. Victoria Beckham for her services to anorexia, Kim Kardashian for making Botox the worldwide phenomenon, Coleen Nolan for winning Big Brother doing in the house less that she does on Loose Women. I’d MBE Mariah Carey for amazing New Year’s Eve mime fail performance, Josie Gibson, whoever she is, for saying: “I’ve had my boobs and my stomach done so there’s nothing else, is there?”. I wouldn’t knight myself though, I would feel bad in such a company.